The Sense of an Ending - Julian Barnes

 I heard about this book after it received Man Booker Prize but I knew Julian Barnes and his writings before. This book is like a novella - short one but precise and clear. With a sense of urgency I read this book and I was not disappointed.

History is that certainty produced at the point where the imperfections of memory meet the inadequacies of documentation.

The story has two parts "One" and "Two" narrated by Tony Webster.The Part One begins in 1960's during their school days and the narrator explains his friendship specially with Adrian and his romantic (?) relationship with Veronica. Veronica was his first serious girlfriend and he was serious about it. But Veronica seems like holding back a little in everything they do  that was what Tony thought. Even though he is in 60's he thinks like in 50's .

What you end up remembering isn't always the same as what you have witnessed.

He went with Veronica to her house one weekend. It was an awkward weekend.The stay made him to rethink his relationship with Veronica , in fact he felt inferior to them. He liked only her mother who was gentle and lovable. Tony and Veronica split soon. To add salt to the wound Tony came to know about Adrian's relationship with Veronica through a letter sent by Adrian. He wrote back a letter full of vengeance and sort of jealous too. This letter will haunt him later which the narrator deals in part two. Tony's letter should have hurt Veronica a lot. The letter was unjustifiable. After returning from his trip he received a letter informing about the suicide of Adrian.  Tony was shocked but he believes that the reasoning of Adrian for his suicide makes sense.

And yet it takes only the smallest pleasure or pain to teach us time’s malleability.

Tony moves on with his life.He forgot(??!!) Veronica. He married and divorced with a child. Though it was dull, he lives on.  Without him expecting, a letter from a lawyer informing him about the amount bequeathed and two documents to him by Veronica's mother . He follows up with the lawyer and tries his best to collect the documents but everything fails as Veronica  do not want to share it. Few times he meets her but every time meeting ends abruptly with Veronica saying "You just don't get it, you never did".  Veronica was hostile to him and one time said "Blood Money which confuses Tony even more. Veronica should have felt betrayed specially by her own mother and that too keeping Adrian's diary for so long.

That's one of the central problems of history, isn't it, sir? The question of subjective versus objective interpretation, the fact that we need to know the history of the historian in order to understand the version that is being put in front of us.

The memory places a vital role in this story. Every time Tony wants to remember something he re-tracks and find some missing link , at least that's what he himself believes. His memories helps him to overcome all the pain of different relationships and the opportunities missed. Tony was betrayed by everyone.

It strikes me that this may be one of the differences between youth and age: when we are young, we invent different futures for ourselves; when we are old, we invent different pasts for others.

Ending - that's what confused me a bit in this story. There are lots of questions Who is the junior Adrin?  Many possibilities but I think the logical conclusion will be  Adrian had affair with Veronica's mother and borne a son.  There is a clue in the letter written by the Veronica's mother stating that Adrian was happy in his last few months. But Tony never understood the link . I don't think Tony is  responsible for Adrian's suicide.  After knowing that Veronica is a sister of that handicapped boy , Tony realizes that the equation written by Adrian makes sense. There are some suspicion about Veronica's mother's stay at London after her husbands death.

The more you learn, the less you fear. "Learn" not in the sense of academic study, but in the practical understanding of life.

This novel says many thing about the life including our actions without thinking about the reaction and how memories shapes our life specially during old age. By abruptly ending the novel the author makes the reader to re-evaluate each characters - Tony, Adrian, Veonica and Sarah.

 We thought we were being mature when we were only being safe. We imagined we were being responsible but were only being cowardly. What we called realism turned out to be a way of avoiding things rather than facing them.

A wonderful read..!!