John Steinbeck's letter about love to his son

'Grapes of Wrath' and 'Of Mice and Men' author John Steinbeck's letter to his son when his son wrote him that he found a girl and he loves her.

The great author - John Steinbeck

His explanation of types of love was something we all have to think before we embark in a journey of love. He explains that there are types of love - first one 'selfish' and the second  'outpouring of everything good in you'.Most of the time people will falls into first category -thinking so much of self than the receiver as he wrote 'its ugly and crippling kind'. But when we accept and respect another person as unique and valuable then we will love them with  whole- heart.

Another very important line in that letter says that "If you love someone there is no possible harm in saying  so", how true it is.Most of the time we never express our 'good' feelings to others which is not good for  the relationship,one has to open up and express it ,specially in case of love. There are so many other wonderful things in that letter , below is that letter, read and enjoy.. This letter was taken from the wonderful  book "Steinbeck:A life in letter" , very enjoyable and thought provoking book.

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New York

November 10, 1958

Dear Thom,

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First-if you are in love-that's a good thing-that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second-There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply-of course it isn't puppy love.

But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it-and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone-there is no possible harm in saying so-only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another-but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens-the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

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That was a wonderful letter written by a great man,so loving and gentle.