A father's message to his children

Paul Flanagan

 He was diagnosed with melanoma , a type of cancer and died at age of 45 in  November 2009.When he was diagnosed  his son was only few months old.He was a teacher and he lived his life as how he want his children to live.He did everything he can to make sure that his children remember him with joy and happiness.He even asked his wife to buy gift for their children's 18th and 21st birthday.He wrote lots of letters , recorded DVDs with messages and brought books for his children so that in future they will not miss him.


Till his death he was a good father and a good husband.According his wife Mandy "He lived and died by his own rules, and I know he had found his own fulfillment".He never set goals for himself after he came to know  about his terminal illness, he just lived his life as normal as possible..It was indeed a good life lived.He had made a rich legacy for his children.

As i'm preparing for myself to be a  father(parent) , i'm wondering what legacy i will leave to my kids.Will my life reflect good things to my children,Will i change myself to be a good and loving father.I do not have any answer except that i will try to be good to them as much as possible.As i have observed in these few months children specially the little ones will always looks for parents for everything, if the parents are good and loving ,the children too will show the same thing.We all knew this but still we do bad things intentionally or unintentionally to our kids .So the morale is show love and affection to children irrespective of their behavior. Below is Paul Flanagan's code  to his children:

A father's message to his children

1.     Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

2.     Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

3.     Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

4.     Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.

5.     Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

6.     Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

7.     Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

8.     Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

9.     Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

10.   Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

11.   Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

12.   Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

13.   Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

14.   Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

15.   Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

16.   Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

17.   Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

18.   Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

19.   Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

20.   Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

21.   Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

22.   Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

23.   Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

24.   Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

25.   Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

26.   Look after your body and it will look after you.

27.   Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

28.   And finally, cherish your mother, and take very good care of her.

             I love you both with all my heart.
                    Daddy x